Has Your Career Become Your Identity? How to Address It & and Create Boundaries

Boundaries. Since the pandemic set in, a discussion around boundaries has been at the forefront of the career sector. More specifically, work-life boundaries. They tend to get blurred, and increasingly so. The arguments of when to set boundaries in a new role, how to set boundaries in a role that has changed, and what boundaries apply in remote vs. hybrid vs. in-person settings have been hot-button topics as the world tries to balance life and health within it.  But rarely, if at all, has the idea of creating space between who you are in your personal and social life and what you exude at work been addressed. But it is incredibly important to realize, address, and appreciate who you are outside of your work title. Sure, you are a high-level executive at a lucrative company, but what makes you happy? You could be the most storied photographer in the tech world, but who are you when you aren’t behind a camera? 

How do you introduce yourself?

When you are approached in a work environment by a new acquaintance, it is very likely that you introduce yourself with your name and your title. That’s natural, and can help colleagues get to understand each other’s roles and who to reach out to for different types of support. But when you are at parties or in social situations outside of work and people ask you about yourself, how do you answer? Let’s start here. In said social situations, it is more common that you will be faced with questions like “What do you do?” than “Who are you?” So, sometimes it is up to you to pivot that conversation or to address your response to “What do you do?” in two parts. A response to quickly establish a boundary might look something like this: “By day, I am an art director for a Fortune 500 company. By night? I am a landscape photographer that loves to make baked goods and take care of my plants.”  Quickly addressing your hobbies and what you love can not only bring the conversation to a fun and amusing point, but it can tell the person you are speaking to a lot about you in a short amount of time. It also ensures that their first impression of you isn’t just about your salary, your place of business, or what you can do for them, potentially, on a professional level.  The question of who you are versus what you do – and how both are received and portrayed – is often a uniquely American issue. Almost nowhere else in the world is work valued higher than the human experience. Rarely will you experience a culture that is so focused on staying productive and so committed to capitalism that the two are confused. 

Who are you?

Admittedly, this may not be a question you get asked very often. (That is, unless you text the wrong number.) In any situation, it may be your go-to to respond with your name and your job title. Or even just your name.  But in order to understand what you need out of your life – and your career, as it progresses – you really need to understand what your principles are, and what things make you happy in life. These are the pillars of who you are, at your core. What do you value? What does your career bring you in areas of happiness, fulfillment, and excitement and what does your personal life bring you in those same areas? Where do you find peace? Is managing your time and energy a priority when it comes to your social life, but less so in your career? If so, why? These are all questions to explore, and the answers can be difficult to face. We suggest creating a document or grabbing a blank journal to record your thoughts. This way, you can update them as often as you would like – quarterly, yearly, every five years, etc. – and witness your own development and growth as you learn more about yourself.

What are you proud of?

For people with amazing work ethics, their career may blend into their identity - and their identity into their career - more than would be ideal. And that’s to be expected, as people tend to be most proud of the work that they do. So perhaps establishing boundaries between your work self and your social self is as simple as discovering what you are most proud of about yourself. And we aren’t talking about listing your accomplishments and accolades from high school or discussing who you used to be. What are current aspects of your reality and personality that you are proud of? Take time to list them out, commit them to memory, and truly believe in them. Your list may be something as simple as: 

• I am proud of how I have mended my relationship with my parents.

• I am proud of how I support and nurture my children/grandchildren/siblings/fur babies/family/friends.

• I am proud of my amateur photography skills and how my work lines my walls unapologetically.

• My morning routine helps me to feel balanced and kickstarts a healthy day.

• I love that I purchased a coat that matches my personality so well, I always get compliments on it.

Seeing everything you are proud of listed out physically can often create positive reinforcement and a stronger sense of pride in yourself. Boundaries can be difficult and uncomfortable to establish, but they are absolutely critical to balancing your career with other areas of your life. Next time the topic of boundaries arises, be sure you are clear on them in every sense of the word. You deserve support and acknowledgment in every area of your life, and you are the most likely person to provide both for yourself.