How to Take “Stress Leave” for your Mental Health

A recent McKinsey survey shows that one in three people’s mental health has been negatively impacted by the return to work, and if you’re one of those people whose stress from returning to the office is compounded by the turbulence of the past year, you might be considering taking stress leave. But taking care of yourself means taking care of your career, and if you’re going to take stress leave, you should know what you’re in for.

You’re ready for stress leave if…

Mental health might be the newest and hottest topic, but it’s also one of the most misunderstood. Athletes and celebrities worldwide are now talking about the importance of taking time off for your mental health and prioritizing your own personal wellbeing over an institution you feel doesn’t give back enough. But seeing as many of us don’t have million-dollar endorsements to pay our rent and teams of chefs, house cleaners, coaches and possies to help pick up some of the slack, a “stress leave” looks incredibly different for the layman than it does for a Naomi Osaka or a Demi Lovato.

If you don’t know whether or not you’re ready to take stress leave, one of the main indicators is that your symptoms should be debilitating, triggered by work, and unmanageable with medication or therapy. Maybe you’re feeling anxious, irritable, restless, or quick to anger. You could also be feeling sad, crying at the slightest provocation. Perhaps you’re unable to eat and sleep (or you’re doing both to excess), or it feels impossible to release the buildup of muscle tension that plagues you every moment.

Unhealthy coping mechanisms also serve as indicators for unmanageable stress, such as drinking to blackout on weeknights, taking up smoking or vaping, or partaking in the devil’s lettuce a bit too often. Drug and alcohol treatment and other addiction rehab programs can be an essential part of recovery for some individuals, much like how stress leave can be a vital step in healing from work-related stress.

In addition to debilitating symptoms, you need an official diagnosis from a medical practitioner. If these problems have been a consistent presence in your life (stressful job notwithstanding), you’ve probably already tried therapy, and perhaps medication. Without a formal diagnosis and a history of treatment, you won’t be able to cut through some of the red tape that your HR department might have – and if you haven’t already tried other methods of treatment, perhaps you’re not yet ready for stress leave.

You’re not ready for stress leave if…

If you’re overwhelmed, but not so overwhelmed that you feel your work is being impacted, you aren’t ready for stress leave. It’s important to have enough frustration tolerance to handle the ebbs and flows of life’s various peaks and valleys while also knowing your individual limits. There are plenty of ways to mediate stress without taking time off, as that should always be a last resort.

If you feel like stress leave just provides the general opportunity for some restorative time off, you’re not ready for stress leave, you’re just ready for PTO. While it might seem like a great opportunity to catch up on all the shows you’ve wanted to watch, see friends or family, and drown your sorrows in bath bombs or face masks, having fun is only half the battle. Your stress leave shouldn’t just be filled with activities you’d be doing on any other weekend – take it as seriously as you’d take medical leave as if you were recovering from surgery.

Finally, you’re not ready for stress leave if you’re not ready to completely leave work behind. Stress leave isn’t just bowing out of the parts of work that are driving you crazy. You have to have the presence of mind to know that being unable to handle one part of your job is a legitimate indicator that in the near future, even the things you enjoy about your role might become just as upsetting. Stress leave means that even quick emails or Slack messages need to be placed on the backburner.

Knowing your rights

Unfortunately, if you’ve been miseducated by well-meaning celebrities who advocate for mental health, you might think that taking a stress leave means walking into your boss’ office and saying, “I need to work on myself!” before dramatically sashaying out the door as a triumphant soundtrack plays, and the media lauds you for your bravery. The nuts and bolts of taking a stress leave are, much like any other benefit, filled with red tape. The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) allows you a certain amount of time off with the guarantee that your job (or a similar one with identical pay) will still be there upon your return. But there are stipulations to this act that you should know before walking out the door.

First, email HR and figure out their various policies on stress leave. Your company might require that you use up PTO or sick days before you tap into the FMLA, but it depends on the policy. Some companies also don’t offer FMLA benefits if they’re under 50 employees, but again, every workplace is different. You typically won’t receive pay under FMLA unless you’re using your PTO, but you’ll get to retain your health insurance.

Next, you have to know if you qualify for stress leave. If you’ve worked at the company for at least 12 months, and you’ve clocked in 1,250 hours (that’s 26 hours per week), you’re in the clear. The FMLA covers events like the birth of a child, the adoption of a child, caregiving for a sick family member, or a serious health condition “that makes the employee unable to perform the essential functions of his or her job” (yes, even a mental health condition). If you meet both these criteria, you’re well on your way to getting your stress leave.

Then, you need to plan out your stress leave. Again, HR might help with this, and large companies may even have helpful resources to utilize. The FMLA allows for up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave, and if you take advantage of all of it, you might want to work with close companions or mentors at your job to establish milestones in your recovery so that you’re ready to come back at the right time.

Making the best of your stress leave

Again, if you were taking some medical leave after surgery, you’d want to follow the doctor’s orders – this is also exactly what you want to do during a stress leave. Despite the sage words of health gurus the world over, excessive self-care like yoga or meditation won’t cure your crippling anxiety (though studies say that it certainly may help other mental illnesses like OCD). Take your stress leave seriously because if you properly invest in the time you have off, you’ll get astounding returns. If your home life isn’t conducive to a thorough recovery, and you have the money, think about an inpatient treatment program that can restabilize you. Rehab isn’t just for celebrities and those suffering from drug addiction – you can enter into a luxury inpatient program that serves everything from anxiety and depression to chemical dependence.

If you don’t feel like dropping thousands of dollars on a fancy rehab center, you should at least be prepared to drop a few hundred on a good therapist that you can see twice a week, so they can help you get to the core of your anxieties. Additionally, as you’re getting treatment, make a list of tasks that feel insurmountably difficult. Then, reach out to a friend, family member, partner, or potentially your new therapist, so that they can help you find ways to get these things done. There’s no shame in hiring a maid for a few weeks, or budgeting for a little more take-out, as long as you don’t let yourself slip into complacency, and allow your temporary allowances to become permanent evasions of responsibility.

Ultimately, stress leave can be a productive tool to help you move past serious mental health issues – as long as you take it seriously. It could be scary to think about the repercussions of a stress leave on your career, your relationship with your team, or your private life. But if there’s a method to tackling your madness, there’s nothing to be afraid of – chances are, you’ll come back stronger than ever.