Keeping meetings to an hour or less, setting your phone to “do not disturb,” or trying to implement firmly scheduled self-care time each day? Sounds like you’re in search of the perfect work-life balance. But fantasizing that this all-powerful concept is a stagnant, achievable goal may actually be both outdated and unrealistic. Shedding the oppressive notion of a work-life balance might improve your quality of life overall – that is, if you’re willing to shift your mindset.
Common misconceptions
Traditionally, work-life balance is thought to be the ability to juggle one’s personal life and their professional one so that both realms are adequately tended to. In the days where one went to the office to work, most of the time, one had to make a conscientious effort to stay late or get there early. For much lower and middle management positions, those who had some responsibility but didn’t feel the entire weight of the company on their shoulders, overwork was a choice (especially if you were paid hourly without overtime).
But when the pandemic hit, and many Americans began working from home, it became far too easy to stretch yourself too thin. Over 70% of workers say that since COVID began, they’re now working on weekends, and in another study, 46% of Americans say they never have any time to relax. Despite managers telling employees to take breaks, pace themselves, and practice self-care, 40% of workers report that they don’t have a single break during the workday. So what happened? How did work-life balance turn into work-around-the-clock?
The problem isn’t just that working constantly is too easy. It’s also expected, in some companies. You might be in a position where you get “unlimited vacation days,” or more PTO than you ever thought possible. And though blog posts and articles and experts are all telling people to take time off, that isn’t the easiest thing in the world. The unspoken culture of remote work these days demands that employees are always plugged in, ready to answer a Slack chat or hop on a call at a moment’s notice. Over 25% of workers report feeling pressure from their boss to be on the clock longer than they’re comfortable with, and 14% feel it from their co-workers. As a result, a study from the U.S. Travel Association reports that 55% of workers don’t use all of their time off, despite desperately needing it.
Work-life balance? Maybe not
Sure, you should be taking more breaks, and you should be using your vacation time. But you also need to stop beating yourself over the head with what you “should” be doing, as that will only set you up for disappointment. The issue with the way that more people think of a work-life balance is the duality it creates between these two symbiotic notions. The more you insist upon separating your existence into these two realms, the more you’ll get caught immersing yourself in the one you think you deserve. You have work and life, bad and good, boring and fun, feeling trapped and feeling free. But are those classifications helpful, or harmful?
Unfortunately for those who enjoy rigid structure, experts say that a true “work-life balance” doesn’t exist. Work has an ebb and flow, and it waxes and wanes in intensity if you allow it to. There will be times that you’ll work so much that you won’t have a minute of downtime, and there will be times you’ll only have two hours of work to do in a day. Sometimes, you can’t choose to have a work-life balance, as an event in either work or life will take over. And sometimes, if you don’t have a lot of work but you feel glued to your computer anyway, that could be indicative of a bigger issue.
How to make it work… literally
During normal weeks, where you don’t have too much or too little to do, the best way to conceptualize your work-life balance is to look at how much work you’re doing throughout the day. Generally, productivity experts suggest that you work around your “productivity peaks” in order to get the most done in the least amount of time. But if you find that you’re causing yourself unnecessary stress and turmoil by throwing Let yourself into work at all hours, immersing yourself in unnecessary minutiae, ask yourself: What is work pulling me away from? What am I avoiding by working? Why do I feel the need to make myself feel bad, and force myself to participate in this thing I’ve deemed torturous?
On the days where you’re working so much that your life falls by the wayside, rather than beating yourself up for not maintaining a work-life balance, you should have a survival plan for those extremely busy weeks. Hire a babysitter (or dog-sitter), budget for takeout, use a maid service, and make life easier while you’re overwhelmed by work. Even if you are feeling stressed by the sheer number of things you have to do, remember that it’s your mentality that matters most – if you see work as excruciating and living as pleasurable, your busiest times will be the moments you feel the most miserable, and your stress levels will surely impact your ability to focus.
Eventually, you’ll have less work to do, and you can catch up on all the life you’ve been missing in the meantime. When these portions of the cycle emerge in life, don’t feel guilty for going to the gym on a weekday afternoon, or going to the grocery store on your lunch hour. You might even want to take a vacation or use a few days of PTO to go away for a long weekend. Though you may worry that your coworkers might feel abandoned, or your boss might raise an eyebrow, don’t let others’ expectations drag you down into the infernal realm of peer pressure. Be clear, communicative, and most importantly, hold the line if someone tries to contact you when you’re supposed to be out of the office. You have every right to relax as hard as you’re working, even though it feels easy to preach, but difficult to practice.
