There is a fine line between a healthy debate and a conflict that takes an ugly turn – especially in the workplace. That being said, you don’t want to miss out on the powerful benefits of debating at work, which leads to better ideas and group decisions.
“A meaningful debate can lead the team to find the best ideas and solutions and help get major breakthroughs,” says Chandni Chopra, director of HR at LambdaTest. “Debate in the workplace can be healthy and constructive in times when a decision is to be made and the impact of the decision will affect the whole company. It is very important to engage in a debate if the two major options are quite opposites and each has its own merits. The debate will allow everyone to study each side’s pros and cons without getting too personal,” adds Sharon Dylan, co-founder and career coach at Management.org.
The dos and don’ts of debating at work
In order to avoid problematic behaviors during difficult conversations and keep things constructive, it’s important to understand the dos and don’ts of debating in the workplace.
Focus on topics and ideas – not people
The first step to debating constructively is to focus on topics and ideas – never people. The latter will quickly escalate into a tense conflict. “Do focus only on the topic and not on the employee. When engaging in a debate in the workplace, it is very easy to get carried away and attack the person presenting the other side, instead of the topic. Hence, remember only to focus on the current topic,” says Dylan.
Find the appropriate time for a debate
Timing is everything, too. There’s a time and place for having a heated debate – and it’s not on the eve of a deadline or with bystanders present who are not stakeholders, says Mike Coles, a certified mediator and employment lawyer: “You want the space and time to provide the opportunity for people to listen and be heard,” he says.
If you know you’re going to be having a controversial conversation, it’s better to allocate the time and space to have it without extra stressors.
Come to the conversation prepared
Along the same lines, you can – and should – come to a debate prepared, whether you know you’re going to try to convince your coworker to hear your stance on a project or that your team is probably not going to agree on a key decision. “Remember to research the points that you want to discuss. Try to identify possible questions that might come up so you’ll have all the information to rebut them,” recommends Dylan.
Encourage team members to speak
Remember that the loudest voices in the room are not the only important ones. You probably have introverts on your team and people who are conflict-averse. Encourage everyone around the table to share their takes. “Ensure that your team has an open platform to speak, and share ideas, and thoughts. Giving opportunities to everyone in the organization is pivotal,” says Chopra.
Disagree respectfully
One of the pillars of healthy debating is respect. “Respect others’ opinions and keep the conversations very objective in nature. If you aren’t aligned with someone’s perspective, disagree respectfully,” adds Chopra. “Do not disrespect anyone and avoid creating a toxic team environment: Debates, if done with personal bias, can lead to a toxic environment in the organization and affect the culture negatively.”
In other words, try to put your biases aside and keep an open mind while being mindful of the overall tone of the conversation and the language you use to make your points. Don’t tolerate disrespectful behavior during a debate either.
Demonstrate active listening
Active listening plays a key role in making sure all parties feel heard. It also helps avoid misunderstandings. “Restate what you’ve heard to confirm your understanding. It serves the dual purpose of ensuring both parties are on the same page and provides confirmation to the speaker that you are genuinely listening rather than waiting for your turn to offer your rebuttal,” suggests Coles.
Avoid dismissing emotions
You may think that it’s best to avoid veering into emotional territory. But emotions do exist in the workplace, and dismissing the emotional aspect of a discussion may backfire. “Someone might be hurt by a comment or feel particularly vulnerable if a change is implemented. Those emotional impediments to resolution are just as important as budgetary ones, for example,” says Coles. Use your emotional intelligence to navigate this and remember that you can’t make the most of the conversation if you shut down the emotions at play.
Don’t expect an immediate resolution.
During disagreements and uncomfortable discussions, it’s tempting to want to get to a resolution ASAP. But that’s not a realistic expectation, says Coles, who recommends setting time for revisiting the discussion at a later point, too: “If you set an appropriate time and place for debate, that should include time for reflection and time to revisit and resolve the discussion. This has the added benefit of allowing all parties to gather more information if needed.”
When a debate enters an inappropriate territory
There are moments when a debate enters the inappropriate territory, and you’ll want to be aware of them to prevent an unproductive or harmful conversation. This can happen quickly and is tricky to identify. Chopra says that you can use the following guiding principle to determine when that is.
“A constructive debate should yield a positive impact. It should help take the team forward. As soon as a debate takes a personal angle or only a handful of people end up participating, it will become inappropriate,” she says.
