Love in the time of hybrid and remote work can get complicated. Granted, office romances are less frowned upon than they used to be – 75 percent of U.S. workers are comfortable with people at their workplace being involved in a romantic relationship, and 83 percent respect or would respect those in one, according to a new survey from the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM).
While dating a coworker is no longer a complete no-no, it still comes with challenges. “Dating a coworker can be tricky to navigate, and even more so in the age of hybrid/remote work,” says Grace He, People & Culture Director of TeamBuilding. “When dating a coworker in a hybrid or remote workplace, it’s especially important to be mindful of the boundaries between home and work,” according to employment attorney and mediator Nance L. Schick. “If you’re not good at setting and honoring these boundaries, you’re likely to have many types of personal issues spill into the workplace.”
1. Find out about any HR policies
Banning romantic relationships at work is tricky from an HR policy standpoint, but some companies do have rules around dating a coworker. Disclosing that you’re going on a first date with a coworker would be a little premature. But if things get serious, it’s important to find out whether your organization has specific policies in place for romantic relationships between coworkers. And no, keeping a long-term relationship under wraps is not a good idea.
2. Establish clear boundaries between work and play
Schick says that establishing boundaries is paramount when dating a coworker in a hybrid or remote setting. She recommends having set times for work and play. “Despite the overlapping relationships, it is usually best to keep things separate. All relationships take work, but workplace dating relationships take extra work. If you’re not one to go above and beyond in either area, it’s probably not a good idea to try this,” she says.
Physical boundaries are important, too – even if your coworkers can’t always see you. “Our brains like simple rules. Take some of the risks of conflict out of your work and dating relationships by keeping some areas dedicated only to one relationship. For example, don’t work in the bedroom if you can avoid it, and don’t flirt in the office when you’re there.”
3. Avoid conflicts of interest
Do you work in a department that handles confidential data? Discussing details with your partner after hours is not a good idea. If you hear something from your boss about your partner’s performance, what do you do? Conflicts of interest will likely happen when you’re balancing work and love. Get on the same page about how you’ll handle them.
4. Keep your group chats and Zoom calls professional
“Professionals must exercise caution when communicating their feelings with their potential partner and weigh both their comfort level as well as how it will affect the workplace atmosphere,” according to He. For example, you don’t want to appear too intimate in group chats or video calls, as the dynamic could make your teammates feel uneasy. Keep things professional so you can not only protect your career but also avoid making others feel uncomfortable.
5. Don’t over-publicize and mind your performance
On that note, don’t over-publicize the nature of your relationship – and do mind your performance, says Schick: “If you’re publicizing your relationship in a way that makes it seem like a priority when you’re underperforming, your employer might assume it’s the relationship that’s causing the disruption. Ideally, your performance will be the same, regardless of who you are dating or whether you are dating at all.”
6. Never date a superior or subordinate
If you’re going to date a coworker, make sure it’s not superior or subordinate. This should be avoided at all costs. “I wish all management professionals knew the high risk of a sexual harassment claim when they date an employee who they might supervise or otherwise be positioned to influence. No matter what the lower-ranked employee might say about feeling like there is a power imbalance, it’s there,” adds Schick.
As she puts it, if the relationship is important enough, one of the parties involved needs to find a different employer.
7. Avoid risky behavior during work hours
You may not need to be online at all times during the workday. That’s the beauty of a remote or hybrid job, after all. But whatever you do, avoid getting too carried away during work hours. Schick says employment lawyers still see complaints about behaviors like sex at work, sex during work hours, nakedness in the background of Zoom meetings, and flirting during meetings, in person or online. The temptation may be there while working remotely, but just don’t do it. You’re only one unfortunate virtual mishap away from an awkward – or even career-destroying – situation.
At the end of the day, it’s important to think about your entire situation and weigh the pros and cons of dating someone in your workplace. Remember: a dating app development company can provide solutions that facilitate online connections, but when it comes to dating a coworker, it’s crucial to navigate the complexities of maintaining professional boundaries and avoiding conflicts of interest.
