The first thing you need to know about conflict in the workplace is that it’s unavoidable. The second thing you need to know is that managing conflict is a skill. “Conflict is part of our (work) lives, it’s going to happen no matter what conflict management style an individual has. There are easy ways to learn skills to move through the discomfort that conflict brings,” says Hanne Wulp, founder of Communication Wise, a communication and conflict resolution agency.
When managed effectively, conflict can even be healthy. “Conflict itself isn’t a bad thing and is instead a normal and healthy component of human interaction,” according to Moshe Cohen, leadership, organizational behavior and mediation expert and author of “Collywobbles: How to Negotiate When Negotiating Makes You Nervous.”
“If people avoid conflict, they often don’t advocate for their needs, give each other honest feedback, challenge each other’s ideas, or address problematic issues on the team. A healthy organization welcomes productive conflict,” he says.
If you’re wondering what productive conflict is all about, here are five conflict resolution tips for the workplace.
1. Slow down
In any conflict, the first thing you’ll want to do is slow down. Easier said than done – but paramount to resolving the conflict and avoiding escalation.” Slow down on your own feelings, judgments, stories, beliefs and convictions. Slow down your breathing,” says Wulp. In other words, during tense moments, awareness and mindfulness are key.
“For many people, conflict is emotionally triggering, making them react emotionally rather than respond productively. In order to respond effectively to conflict, people need to become aware that they are in emotional overload and slow down time by staying silent, asking questions and listening, or taking a break instead of lashing out,” adds Cohen. “Leaders can also stay on top of this by intervening to help people slow down their reactions.”
2. Acknowledge differences in opinions
When there is a clash of opinions in your team, it can be tempting to brush off the discord in an effort to find immediate common ground. But this can backfire. Wulp recommends acknowledging differences in opinions during moments of conflict. Don’t dismiss, ignore or avoid clashing perspectives. Don’t try to “win” or punish, she adds.
As a leader, staying open-minded and holding space for different viewpoints while seeking to understand the situation and the people involved is a delicate balance you’ll want to master. When in doubt, let your empathy guide the way. “Leaders can set an example by demonstrating curiosity and empathy instead of judgment when things go wrong,” adds Cohen.
3. Ask questions to minimize assumptions
As Cohen puts it, conflict often begins with perception and miscommunication: “Something happens that impacts us, we make assumptions about people’s motivations, and take action in return.”
The key to resolving conflict is minimizing assumptions. The best way to do that is by asking questions to clarify what is going on.
4. Eliminate as much ambiguity as possible
While conflict is natural and even healthy, you can still prevent a great deal of unnecessary conflict by removing ambiguity in your team.
“A great deal of organizational conflict can be prevented through clearer goals, roles, and processes,” according to Cohen. “Team leaders often create too much ambiguity as to who is responsible for what, how people are supposed to interface with each other, deliverables and timelines, and more – and these ambiguities provide fertile ground for misunderstandings and disagreements.”
5. Teach your team how to manage conflict
Another conflict prevention tip is teaching your team how to manage conflict and communicate. “Conflict is unavoidable, but can be minimized by establishing strong communication channels so there is an abundant information flow,” says Wulp. “Leaders can invest in communication training for their employees, in which they’ll be empowered to speak up effectively and listen attentively.”
Again, leading by example is important. Make sure you communicate openly, honestly and respectfully to set the tone.
It’s hard to imagine the conflict in the workplace feeling good. But with the right conflict resolution approach, it can start to feel empowering and foster team connection.
